POINT BY POINT SUMMARY
Prepared by P. Feldman
of Kollel Iyun Hadaf, Yerushalayim
Rosh Kollel: Rabbi Mordecai Kornfeld
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Previous daf Kesuvos 62
6) HOW LONG A MAN MAY LEAVE HOME
(a) Answer: The Mishnah teaches, how long is proper.
7) OBLIGATORY FREQUENCY OF RELATIONS
(b) (Rav): He should learn for a month, and be home for a
month - "The shifts come and go month by month ...
(c) (R. Yochanan): He should learn for a month, and be home
for 2 months - "1 month in Lebanon, and 2 months in his
1. Rav did not learn as R. Yochanan - others can build
the Beis ha'Mikdash.
(d) (Rav): A sigh breaks half a person's body - "Sigh, amidst
the breaking of the loins."
2. R. Yochanan did not learn as Rav - there, the wife
enjoys that her husband is earning money.
(e) (R. Yochanan): It breaks the entire body - "Every heart
melts, all hands are soft, every spirit is weakened, all
knees turn to water."
1. Question: How does R. Yochanan explain Rav's verse,
which says the loins are broken?
(f) A Yisrael and Nachri were on the road together; the
Nachri could not keep up with the Yisrael. The Nachri
mentioned the Churban; the Yisrael sighed, but still the
Nachri could not keep up with him.
2. Answer: It starts with the loins.
3. Question: How does Rav explain R. Yochanan's verse?
4. Answer: Hearing of the Churban is more severe.
1. Nachri: Don't you say that a sigh breaks half the
2. Yisrael: That only refers to a new sorrow - this is
an old matter.
i. This is as people say, a woman that miscarries
often is not befuddled on the loss of a child.
(a) (Mishnah): *Tayalim* have relations every day.
(b) Question: What are Tayalim?
(c) Answer #1 (Rava): Talmidim that learn in their city at
sleep at home.
(d) Objection (Abaye): This cannot be! Of them, it says,
"(Hashe-m will give) Lidido (to his dear one) Shena".
1. (R. Yitzchak): This refers to the wives of Talmidim,
that deprive their eyes of sleep in this world
(waiting for their husbands to return) and receive
the world to come. (Such men cannot have time for
relations every day!)
(e) Answer #2 (Abaye): Tayalim are men like Rav Shmuel Bar
Shilas, who sits in the shade of his house, and is not
conscripted for the king's work.
(f) Answer #3 (Ravin): Tayalim are the pampered ones of Eretz
(g) R. Avahu was in the bathhouse. 2 servants were supporting
him. The floor caved in; he grabbed a pole with one hand,
grabbed the servants with the other hand, and lifted them
and himself to safety.
(h) R. Yochanan was ascending a ladder; Rav Ami and Rav Asi
were supporting him. The rung broke; he lifted them and
himself to safety.
(i) Rav Ami and Rav Asi: If you are so strong, why do you
have us support you?
(j) R. Yochanan: If I will use my strength now, what will
remain in my old age?
(k) (Mishnah): Workers have relations twice a week.
(l) Contradiction (Beraisa): Workers have relations once a
(m) Answer (R. Yosi Bar Chanina): The workers of the Mishnah
work in their own city; in the Beraisa, the work in
(n) A Beraisa supports this.
1. (Beraisa): Workers have relations twice weekly -
when they work in their city. If they work in
another city, the frequency is once a week.
(o) Question (Rabah Bar Rav Chanan): (A man vowed not to have
relations - more than 1 week, Beis Hillel say he must
divorce his wife). Did the Mishnah elaborate to teach
this, which only applies to Tayalim and workers (all
others do not have relations more often than this
(p) Answer (Abaye): No - any man that vowed above 1 week must
divorce his wife.
(q) Question (Rabah): But shipdrivers only have relations
every 6 months!
8) HUSBANDS THAT ARE AWAY FOR LONG PERIODS
(r) Answer (Abaye): Still, the vow removes her hope that her
husband will return to her.
(a) Question (Rabah Bar Rav Chanan): May a donkey-driver
become a camel-driver (without his wife's consent)?
(b) Answer (Abaye): No - a woman prefers meager food and
frequency with her husband to more food and abstinence.
(c) (Rav Berona): The law is as R. Eliezer (Talmidim may
leave for a month without permission).
(d) (Rav Ada Bar Ahavah): Chachamim argue, and permit them to
go to learn for 2 or 3 years.
(e) (Rava): Many rely on Rav Ada Bar Ahavah's leniency, and
are mortally punished for this!
1. Rav Rechumi often learned by Rava; he would return
home every Erev Yom Kipur. Once, he was involved in
his learning, and delayed. His wife was waiting for
him, expecting him to come any moment. She was
distressed; a tear came down. Rav Rechumi was
sitting on the roof; the roof collapsed, and he
(f) Question: What is the frequency of relations of
(g) Answer (Rav Yehudah): Every Shabbos night.
1. (Rav Yehudah): "That he will give its fruit in the
right time" - this is one who has relations on
(h) Yehudah, R. Chiya's son, was R. Yanai's son-in-law. He
learned by his Rebbi, and came home every Erev Shabbos; a
pillar of fire could be seen in front of him. Once, he
was involved in his learning and delayed.
1. R. Yanai did not see the fire. 'Turn over his bed -
if he was alive, he would have come.'
(i) Rebbi engaged his son to a daughter of R. Chiya; when it
was time to write the Kesuvah, she died.
2. He was not careful with his words, and they were
fulfilled - Yehudah died.
1. Rebbi: Heaven forbid - perhaps one of them has
(j) Rebbi married his son to a daughter of R. Yosi Bar Zimra.
They agreed that the Chasan would learn from 12 years
before the Nisu'in.
2. They checked the lineage. Rebbi descends from
Shaftiyah, a son of David; R. Chiya, from Shimi, a
brother of David.
1. The Kalah passed in front of him. He decided to
learn for only 6 years before the Nisu'in.
(k) R. Chananyah Ben Chakinai went to learn for 12 years.
When he returned, the streets of the city had changed,
and he could not find his home. He heard a girl being
called 'Bas Chakinai' - he knew, it must be his daughter;
he followed her home.
2. The Kalah again passed in front of him. He decided
to have the Nisu'in before going to learn.
3. He felt embarrassed in front of his father-in-law.
His father-in-law told him, you are like your Maker!
i. At the splitting of the sea, we prophesized
that Hash-m will bring us to Eretz Yisrael,
then we will build the Mishkan (so he will
dwell among us, i.e. Nisu'in). Later, Hash-m
commanded us to build the Mishkan while still
in the wilderness.
4. He went and learned for 12 years. By the time he
returned, his wife became sterile.
5. Rebbi: What should we do?
i. Suggestion #1: If he divorces her - people will
say, this poor girl waited for him in vain!
6. Rebbi prayed, and Hash-m healed her.
ii. Suggestion #2: If he will marry a 2nd wife -
people will say, he has a wife and a harlot!
1. His wife was sifting flour. When she saw him, she
fainted and died. He beseeched - 'Hash-m, is this
her reward?' She returned to life.
(l) R. Chama Bar Bisa went to learn for 12 years. Upon
returning, he was careful not to do as R. Chakinai. He
sat in the Beis Medrash and sent word to his home.
1. R. Oshiya, his son (whom he did not recognize),
spoke with him in learning.
(m) R. Akiva was a shepherd for Ben Kalba Savua. Ben Kalba
Savua's daughter saw that R. Akiva was modest and had
attributes. She proposed - if I become engaged to you,
will you go to learn? He agreed; they were quietly
engaged, and he went to learn. Her father heard of the
engagement, expelled her from his house, and vowed that
she would not benefit from his property (R. Akiva was
unlearned at the time).
2. R. Chama: If only I had stayed home, I could have
raised a son like this!
3. When he entered his house, his son also entered; R.
Chama stood up for him.
4. R. Chama's wife: Does a father stand up for his
5. Rami Bar Chama: "A 3-stranded rope does not quickly
become undone - this is R. Oshiya, R. Chama and his
(n) R. Akiva learned for 12 years; he returned with 12,000
Talmidim. He heard a man ask his wife, 'How long will you
act as a widow (waiting for him)?